Dreams of a Disbeliever

It started with a single post to Virginia Delegate Ryan McDougle’s facebook wall. Now, it’s become a trend that’s sweeping the nation, like Silly Bandz or Brazilian waxes, and there’s no sign of it letting up: women are flooding the Facebook walls of politicians who have attempted to legislate their way into women’s health issues with graphically detailed descriptions of their genital maladies. Think period problems, concerns about strange bumps, requests for fertility advice, pregnancy scares, and more.

People are mad about this, and understandably so. Some women are so angry that they’ve taken to the Rick Perry for President facebook page to give the self-appointed women’s health expert an outpouring he’ll never forget. Among the TMI-laced posts:

“I’m at work and am experiencing the most uncomfortable itch you know where. I know I’m being punished for having a job and not being a wife and mother, but will you still take care of me? I’d like to stop by during my lunch hour.”

“Dr. Rick Perry, I had thyroid cancer and had to take a radioactive iodine pill back in August. They told me I would probably have irregular periods for a while, but I should go back to normal after 6 months or so. I’m really worried because I can feel the cramps like I’m going to get my period, but nothing has come out for a couple of months. I haven’t had sex in a really long time either, so I know I couldn’t be pregnant because we used a condom and I’m on birth control (originally prescribe to help control my PCOS symptoms of irregular periods.) Am I ever going to have a regular period again? Is it bad for those clots to not come out for so long? I’m worried because I want to have a baby some day when I get married, but I’m not ready for that yet. I want to be established financial with my husband before we have kids so that we can provide proper care. What do you think? Should I be worried about my period? It’s really scary and I’m starting to hurt really bad sometimes…. =/”

So far, no comment from Dr. Governor Perry. But millions of women eagerly await his expert diagnoses!

“He shot that nigga, but he still innocent.”

I’m going to take a wild guess, and just say maybe your friend is in jail for a reason. I understand sometimes people are arrested for stupid reasons or whatever, but more times than not “ya mans” belongs behind bars. lmao so shutup.

BUT whenever I see any type of unexplained relationship between people on FB, I just assume those people fucked.

I don’t care if they’re two girls, two guys, one guy and one girl, or a dog and a person. I will assume you fornicated.

lmao that’s my reasoning. I mean there’s a possibility you guys are just acquaintances or friends, but that’s no fun to assume. So I rather assume you guys are secret lovers that met on eharmony or Christians&Looking and had sex in the back of an Applebee’s on your first date.

YUP. This is truth until you can prove me wrong.

It emphasizes to me how this world is way too small or at least it feels that way right now.

Everyone seems to know everyone. I have like 80+ mutual friends with people I’ve never even met. I swear it’s like a conspiracy so all the annoying people I’ve met can know each other and have a coalition of annoyingness. 

I can’t wait to leave the city and meet new people or at least stop seeing these same ol’ raggedy ones…

I said this before, and I shall say it again: IF IT’S ON FB THEN IT IS NOT A SECRET.

Why are you trying to spit your “game” when you are obviously married to some girl named Top5GunnaBarbie Bebaa and have so many thirstay girls on your wall.

You thought I wouldn’t notice the album dedicated to your baby and the baby’s momma either?

C’mon man. Think. Stop be a triflin’ as bitch. You just look stupid while I keep it moving like:

All these people of color are tearing down other people of color. 

People from different boroughs are arguing yet we’re all from NYC.

I bet they’re sitting at their computer all hype like:

My reaction:

What some people do for attention on FB and shit.

It’s amazing how one leg position and shit can make some girls look like they have the “Baddest” bodies. Then you see them in person, and you see none of those “curves”.

It’s amazing how people post some statuses like they’re writing in their fucking diaries to get attention.

It’s amazing how these people are half naked just to get comments. Like wtf is this MYSPACE?

It’s amazing how stupid those FB pages comparing who looks better are.

It’s just all so amazing and amusing.

I ain’t even mad tho. lmao

-_____- Stop it. I know this is a stupid complaint. BUT nigga can’t you just post your picture upright? WTF. An upside down picture doesn’t make you “flee” or “poppin” or fucking cool. You look like a damn fool who couldn’t find the rotate button.